I'm sitting here watching my daughter smile, and it's bittersweet. I want to smile with/for her, but it's one of those days. I just read the guest blog for tomorrow, and it helped a bit. It reminded me of my darkest times and that this overwhelming disappointment is temporary. This transition has caused me an unbelievable amount of stress and anxiety.
It's funny how far you can go back when you're feeling burdened. As I look again, this little girl is a sign that beautiful things come from challenging situations. However, I'm still allowed to admit that hearing, at the tender age of 12 years old, “Don’t ever bring a woman to my door.” was the statement that changed the trajectory of my future because I was being told not to be myself.
I spiraled here and crash-landed on unsteady ground. It'll be fine, but it’ll never stop hurting. Coping, to me, is dealing while healing. One day I'll look back and remember the time trying to better my situation had me in tears & pronounce proudly, “I made it through that.”
The November blog on Seasonal Affective Disorder is about a counselor's account of their dark times and how they overcame them. I hope you'll find time to check it out and get something from it as well. We all have our times but, if it's harder for you to step out of them, I hope that you can at least find the energy to reach out because you are also worthy of better days 🖤💫