After a bit of discussion, about this months blog post, I feel compelled to return to the subject. It’s kink month, and I’m not me if I don’t expand on why certain things are important. Terms matter, because you can’t consent to something if you have no idea what it is Aftercare- Aftercare is the time we spend coming down. Playing is physically taxing and, depending on the type of play one indulges in, it can be psychologically taxing as well. Imagine being left just feeling degraded or whipped, it’s almost cruel. Aftercare is different for most everyone, but spend time kissing those marks you created or rubbing your subs head after pulling their hair. In short, get back to reality Dom/me- This is written in such a way to distinguish between male & female dominants. However, a lot of studs or masculine presenting people, prefer to be referred to as Doms as well Brats- Culturally, Black submissives are rarely afforded the luxury of anyone caring about us being whiny or “crybabies” in the real world. This is one of the definitions that differ a little in the kink community. I’m a whole brat, and it’s often debated, especially among other submissives, if a brat should even be considered a submissive, because we can be a bit demanding. However a D/s relation ship is about unequal power dynamics, and the rest is up in the air. if she’s obedient, shes a submissive. Period Brat-Tamers- This is a person who prides themselves, by using different methods, on taking brats. I don’t know why anyone would want to tame me, as I’m absolutely precious, but it’s a thing Littles- Submissives that desire to be treated like children. They may refer to their Doms as Mommy or Daddy, appreciate a good cuddle & play with various things that are appealing to children. I usually find this dynamic especially sweet, because it requires a bit more trust to be this vulnerable Chakra Energy Play- As a Demi sexual, this is my jam. If I’m not feeling you, energetically, I can’t trust you enough to play with you. I call this empath play Rope Bunny- Someone who likes to be tied up Rigger- Someone who likes to tie their partners up, usually using specialized rope tying techniques. (Stops to daydream). A rigger knows the different parts of the rope, and how to secure a bight, so that play is fun & safe

I Think It’s Gone It’s concerning to me apathy filling up the space where adoration used to be Some days there’s no sense that it ever existed overwhelmed with energy in one instance And in the next one I can’t feel shit When all I’m asking is for you to be consistent It’s got me wondering, what was I thinking I’d become so accustomed to those feelings lingering Basking in them when you’re hours away from me Penning verse after verse of erotic poetry Knowing it meant nothing to you And being ok with that part But not with you seemingly ignoring me disregarding my heart Only I can’t stay angry Shaking my head as you act as if my feelings don’t matter to you Wondering if it was all a ruse Backing away when I’m not sure what to do Still begging to be kissed by you Lust tackling love Protruding legs in the air When I want my body to deny you Yet it still lets you take me there Still palpable when we lose touch Mocking my own tears when I think I am too much Until finally I can’t feel it It’s gone Or changed No more coffee No more lyrics No more pictures for my frames No more giggles when you say my name lost to me Trying to adjust But still holding space To put it simply I was feeling ashamed and constantly trying to save face You didn’t want it and in altering it I took it apart Did I pull back too much Or did I push too hard and overshot my mark To get it back would be up to me What’s coincidental in your eyes Was synchronous to me No coincidences bear such energy It was never about the sex like some might believe The sex was enhanced by the chemistry It’s part of the package titled “enchanted” There’s no switch to turn it on or up It now seems carnal What once seemed tantric Uprooted What I once believed was embedded This ocean of emotions is so deep & alive My spirit can’t possibly tread it Only authentic when it comes from the bottom of the cup Enlightenment no theory can ever touch Maybe I just gave you too much In begging for more than you had to give and telling you what I needed Did I happen to turn you off or possibly leave you depleted Muse like the way you spread these thighs Contradictory I know your third eye is not blind But you appear to look right through me When I stare into your eyes So maybe you just think I’m lying Honestly I’m afraid that I’ll get tired of trying Now when we are so close We can feel worlds apart Needing to keep my eyes off of you While I nurse my confounded heart Only it continues circulating Oxygenating you & Pushing you right back through If we remain on this course only one thing can be true That’s what this poem is about I’m slowly becoming immune now that I’ve figured it out I go back and forth with myself Not sure about what to say I’ll likely tuck these feelings away Never to see the light of day My feelings tend to be your kryptonite I don’t want you to take this the wrong way I’m not trying to push you into loving me Just wanting you to stop being careless with this chemistry ~ ASH

Some navigate this world without the need, or desire for validation. Usually, I’ve noticed, they have recognized & own their dopeness. Some require it in times of self doubt, and it’s painful when they feel any of their efforts have been overlooked. Then there are those who feel worthless all of the time, and it takes time to help them understand that none of us are worthless. Which are you?